


Dirty Little Secret

by DreaRyoku



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 03:06:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14203671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreaRyoku/pseuds/DreaRyoku
Summary: Castiel and Dean had been kids in love when John Winchester stepped in and scared Dean straight. Years later they meet again and try to form a relationship away from John's prying eyes. Only time will tell if these two really are destined to be.





	1. Chapter 1

There had been a time, when Dean was young and,pure, only 8 years old, he was playing with the neighbor's nephew Castiel who sometimes came with his dad to visit his aunt next door. Dean had known Castiel, (or Cas as he called him since Castiel was kind of a mouthful to say) for nearly 5 years now since the first time they met as 3 year olds. Dean knew right away they'd be best friends forever. Cas was great, a little shy and awkward, but nothing that fearless Dean Winchester couldn't fix. Dean dragged Cas on all sorts of adventures through the woods in his backyard and delighted at Cas pointing out each plant and animal along the way and sharing his knowledge of the forest with him.

When he turned 9, Dean began to have strange feelings for his,friend. He stared at those blue eyes longer then need be, his heart raced around Cas and he found himself wanting to be by the other boy's side all the time. It was at Dean's 9th birthday, that Dean had snuck away to their special fort in the woods with Castiel trailing behind. 

"Come on Cas! Stop falling behind! Move your feet faster!" Dean had been hollering impatiently to Cas to catch up.

Cas was annoyed, but no more than usual, he was used to Dean being impossibly impatient and bossy, but a part of him secretly liked it when Dean bossed him around. "I'm coming, I'm coming, just shuddup already." Cas arrived at their little lean to fort they had made out of old tree branches and scraps of wood from Dean's uncle Bobby's junk yard. "So, what's so important we had to come all the way out here?"

Dean swallowed a lump in his throat and then went on an on about what good friends he and Cas were and recounted their many adventures. 

Cas was unsure where this was going, "So why'd we have to come all the way here? You still haven't answered my question." Dean could be rather impulsive sometimes and dance around what he really wanted to say, unless Castiel confronted him head on and fixed him with an icy blue stare.

"I like you Cas...like a lot, like like-like you." Dean felt like he was about to bolt when he suddenly felt Cas gripping his shoulders tight and pulling him in, his soft lips barely grazing over Dean's own dry cracked lips. Dean hadn't even realised he closed his eyes and sank into the kiss, when, they suddenly flew open at the sound of a deep voice.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing boy!"

It was his father. His very strong, very homophobic, and from the smell of it, very drunk, father, John Winchester who had found the boys alone in the middle of the woods-kissing.

John grabbed Dean by the scruff of his neck and picked him up, eyeing him like a piece of garbage as he inspected their little lean to, "So this some kinda hideout for you two fairies to run off to? This where you spend all your time, here with this..." John turned his gaze to Castiel who was frightened and huddle in a corner, "...queer?"

Dean's eyes were wide with fear as he pleaded with his dad, "No, I- it was just one stupid kiss- I didn't even want him to kiss me! Honest. He was just all over me like an animal! I'm glad you came and stopped him when you did- I- I DONT KNOW WHAT HE WOULD'VE DONE IF YOU HADN'T SHOWN UP!"

John fixed Castiel with a stern glare, I suggest you go back to your aunt's and tell your father not to bring you on his visits next time, and you stay away from my son, or should I speak to your father myself?

Castiel could feel his breathing become shallow, he was on the verge of having a panic attack. He was unsure of how his father would react, and had no intention of finding out if John's own reaction was any indication of how his own dad would react. "N-no sir. You don't have to- I'll leave Dean alone- I swear it." Cas stuttered as he got to his feet and ran off.

After Cas had run off, John had beaten Dean, right there in the woods. His voice slurred as he spoke between landing a flurry of punches on his kid, "And you! Don't think for a second that I'm buying your crap!" A hard punch landed on Dean, hitting him in the kidneys and doubling him over, "You let him kiss you!" WHAM! Another punch, this time connecting with his ribs, "You let that little faggot touch you, corrupt you, and you probably enjoyed it too!" Dean flinched at both the pain and his father's face spitting venom at him from a mere few inches away from his face, "Tomorrow you'll go see Father McLeod and beg for forgiveness and repent! And so help me, I better never catch you so much as thinking a gay thought again!" John kicked him hard in the stomach and yelled, "Do I make myself clear!"

Dean spit out some blood and clenched his side as he tried to sit up, "Yes sir." Was all the frightened and abused boy could manage, though the fire in his eyes told a different story.

Years later, Dean had never forgotten the beating that one simple kiss had gotten him. He never saw castiel again amd wondered from time to time if the other boy was doing well, amd what he looked like now that they were 17. The years had been good to Dean, he had worked out everyday, lost the little bit of chub he had as kid and was now 6 feet of pure lean muscle, captain of both the baseball and hockey team and the most desirable playboy in school. To everyone it seemed Dean had the perfect life, but Dean was miserable, he never forgot about his friend and had to stamp down his feeling when he sometimes found himself looking at a dark haired boy with blue eyes too long.

One day when Dean was staring at this one new kid at lunch, he could've sworn it was Cas. The kid was tall, taller then Dean by at least a few inches, his hair was a mess of unkempt raven locks and his laugh- that unmistakable laugh that sounded so carefree- Dean could've sworn it really was Cas. Then the kid turned around when the girl with red hair, who Dean recognized as Charlie Bradbury from his A.P. bio class, pointed to where Dean was sitting at the next table staring at them. His heart nearly stopped beating and then began to beat too fast as he saw those beautiful blue eyes from his childhood that he thought he'd never see again.

Dean's voice caught in his throat, "Cas?"


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel got up and walked over to Dean. Dean was in awe of the man before him, was this really the same shy, awkward little boy he knew? Castiel had rows of silver earrings in his left ear that glittered in the light and a sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. And when Castiel extended his right hand to greet Dean, Dean was even more shocked at what he saw, there across Cas' knuckles were four letters, D-E-A-N, his name! Wrapped around his hand was a tattoo of a rosary made to look like Cas was holding it around his hand and the cross came to rest on his finger under the E of Dean's name. Dean panicked when he saw it and pushed Cas away, causing him to fall on his butt. "Stay away from me!"

Castiel was shocked, what the Hell just happened?

Cas pushed himself up to rest with his hands behind him propping himself up to look up at Dean, the hurt evident on his face, but Dean couldn't allow himself to be drawn into Cas. He had spent too many years trying to stomp down his feelings and build up this player persona to keep his father happy to risk it now with Cas showing up. Dean stormed out of the cafeteria watching as Charlie ran over to help,him up.

Dean felt like such a jerk as he sat in his A.P. Bio class. Charlie walked over and slammed her bag down on,the,table next to Dean as she hissed at him, "What the Hell is your problem Winchester!? The new kid just wanted,to say hi and you acted like such a douche! Look, I know you're this big all important jock and all, but really? You didn't even let him introduce himself!"

Dean looked around in alarm to see if anyone was listening, luckily the few kids that had started to enter the room were too absorbed in their own conversations to be paying attention, "Look red, you know my dad, you know how homophobic he is. Or do you not remember last homecoming when he saw you and your girl making out in the stands?" Dean quirked an eyebrow up at her. 

Charlie was confused, "What does that have to with your dad? What he got some sorta rule about you having to be an ass to gays?"

Dean didn't really know why, maybe it was because he knew Charlie was out herself and wouldn't be all judgemental, or maybe he just felt like he had to get things off his chest or he'd explode. Either way, Dean found himself confessing to the normally bubbly red haired girl, "He didn't need an introduction. I know him. Alright? And the last time I saw him was right before my dad kicked my ass for kissing him."

Charlie screeched and half the class stopped talking to look at them, "Oh, uh- thought I saw a spider." She lied and then lowered her voice as,she,leaned in to speak to Dean, "So you and he- you have some history? But I thought you didn't swing that way? Pft. Whatever, that's still a jerk move, shoving him like you're little kids on the playground." She jabbed a finger at Dean's chest.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a total ass hat. And yeah, we were friends a long time ago. After the ol' man beat the shit outta me, I've been trying to be a model son ever since."

"Do you like him?"

Dean thought for a moment, "Well I used to, but that was eight years ago, I don't even know him any more. I mean tats and piercings, that's not the shy little boy I knew." Dean bit his lip as he thought about Cas.

"Well would you like to be with him?" Charlie asked as she tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"I guess. I mean, I never stopped loving him."

"So tell him. Or at least apologize to him for being such a jerk. I admit I've only known him since he moved next door to me and my dad this summer, but he seems so sweet. He doesn't deserve to be treated like trash 'cause you got issues."

Charlie was right. Unless Cas had drastically changed over the years, he didn't deserve to be treated that way. Dean gave it some thought and and decided to wait for Castiel out side after classes ended. He was glad he decided to open up to Charlie, and even more grateful that she promised not to out him.

~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Cas was last to leave as he stayed behind talking to his bio teacher about the literal birds and the bees, wondering what flowers were best for humming birds and honey bees and if the two species might have some sort of symbiotic relationship that allowed them to coexist.

When Dean saw Cas, he shoved himself off the brick wall of the exterior of the building, "About time."

Castiel froze at the sight of Dean before looking around expecting a gang of guys to jump out, "What, no baseball team?"

Dean looked confused and Cas sighed, "Look, I've played this little game of let's beat the queer before, can we just jump to the part where you beat me and I call my dad to take me to the hospital? I'm not in the mood for all the taunting and mind games first."

Dean looked wounded, but he supposed after their reunion, it was only logical for Cas to think he hung back to give him a beating. "You think I'm here to kick your ass?"

"Well aren't you? I mean after your little outburst in the cafeteria..."

"I'm not here to kick you ass Cas. I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry and I only freaked out cause I don't like guys-"

Cas snorted, "Message received, can I go now?"

Dean shook his head, "No Cas, you don't get it. I don't like guys, I only like one guy, it's only ever been one guy...you. You were my first crush and gave me my first kiss." Dean touched his lips, "I think about it all the time."

Cas swallowed hard, "You do?" Cas was unable to hide his surprise as his voice cracked and his cerulean blue eyes scanned Dean's face for any sign of him teasing him.

Dean shrugged, "Yeah and I-I was scared. You being back terrifies me, there's all these feelings and thoughts I thought I had locked away and if my dad finds out- this is stupid. You probably have a boyfriend or somethin'. No point in ruining my facade now for nothing." Dean looked at the ground and scuffed his foot along the concrete.

"I don't...I mean not anymore, not since we moved here. Long distance relationships suck, so- yeah, no boyfriend. How 'bout you?" Castiel chanced a look at Dean as he hoped the green eyed boy would say he was single too.

"I uh- well, I guess technically I'm single. I just date girls to keep my dad off my back. Nothing really lasts long and truthfully..." Dean's face burned with the crimson heat of a deep blush as he spoke, "...the few times I have had sex, I closed my eyes and imagine what you looked like all grown up and- ya know, pictured myself with you instead."

"So-" Cas began slowly, "- what I'm hearing is that we're both single-ish and spent all these years apart still thinking of each other, and that your dad fucked you up so bad that you don't even know how to be happy anymore, that sound about right to you too?"

Dean nodded slowly and shut his eyes tightly as if admitting that was the most painful thing to do in his life. Castiel leaned in, wanting to take that pained expression off Dean's face ,cupping Dean's head in his hands, and when their lips met Dean swore he felt sparks fly. 

Dean reluctantly pulled away, "That was- wow, Cas- that was so much better than when we were kids." The pained look replaced with a breath taking look of calm and serenity. "And was that a stud in your tongue?" 

Cas opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, flashing the silver tongue stud as he blushed, "Yeah. Ya like it? It was my birthday gift last year."

"Yeah, but um- your dad allowed that?"

Cas snorted, "My dad's just happy as long as I am, which I am for the most part. After the last time I saw you, I raced back to my dad to tell him what happened. I told him everything, including how much I enjoyed the kiss. And well he wasn't happy about his youngest son being gay, he reasoned that a gay son that was alive and accepted was better than a dead son, so he eventually came around and started supporting me in whatever I wanted to do. Been getting piercings since that day and got my first tat at 15, it was this one." Cas flexed his knuckles and pointed to the rosary tattoo with Dean's name. "I never wanted to forget you Dean. I thought I'd never see you again, but then aunt Clara needed help after her surgery and Dad's her only relative so we moved back here for the year and here I am."

Dean just smiled at his friend, "I'm glad you're dad was more supportive than mine, and I'm glad you're here now." Then a thought struck him, what if his father found out? What if he knew they still liked each other? It wouldn't be too hard to figure out Cas still harbored feelings for Dean, what with his tattoo being an open declaration of his love for the teen.

"Me too Dean. Maybe now we can be more than friends?" Cas gave Dean a small lopsided smile as he looked hopefully at the freckled face of the boy with the green eyes.

Dean almost choked, "What? I- dude, we can't... I can't be seen with a boyfriend. I mean we could maybe if we kept it a secret."

Castiel was pissed, "Do you have any idea how long it took me to come out? Sure my dad knew, but I hid it from my brothers and every one else for so long. I'm not going to pretend to be someone else Dean, you either are or you aren't willing to be in a relationship with me."

Dean looked at Cas and after a moment he sighed heavily, "You ran, you have no idea the kinda ass whooping I got! And that was over one little kiss! Can you imagine what he'd do if he found out I had a boyfriend?" Dean shook his head, "Nope. Nuh-uhh. Not gonna happen. Please Cas, please, let this be our little secret?"

"Dean, I won't be your dirty little secret. I should be able to kiss you whenever, or go out on dates, ya know normal couple stuff."

"Please Cas. Look I'm already set up for a full ride to Penn State, just let's date as a trial run on the down low and if after that, when I move out, we're still together, I'll come out. I promise, I'll get the biggest banner and shout it from the highest rooftop. You've had years to come out Cas, all I'm asking for is just one year. Just one year, that's all I ask. And I swear as soon as I'm away from my father and he can't say shit about it, I'll come out. Take you wherever you wanna go. Just one year?"

"Fine." Cas conceded. "One year, but that's it."

"That's all I ask."

"And no girlfriends or being a general jerk to me or I walk." Cas gave Dean a pointed glare.

"But I-" Dean opened his mouth to protest but stopped short when he saw the death glare Cas was giving him, "I think I might know someone willing to help pretend she's my girlfriend. Ya know, just to keep my dad off my back, and I think you'd be okay with her being my fake girlfriend too."

Castiel tilted his head and squinted at Dean, doubtful that'd he'd agree to any girl claiming to be his boyfriend's girlfriend, but when Dean leaned in and whispered her name in his ear, Cas' eyes softened and he had to surpress a chuckle, "Oh. She'd be perfect for the job."


End file.
